General Hux’s new routine
Tag: star wars
Hux was so engrossed in the sweet, miserable creature curling up inside his jacket that he didn’t even hear Ren’s return approach, so the sudden voice startled him. “Oh my god. You’re actually crying over a stray cat.”
Now he was cringing in shame at letting Ren find him in such a pathetic state. He couldn’t bear to look Ren in the eye, but he glared down at his knees nonetheless. “She’s not a stray! Or she didn’t used to be. She’s wearing a collar. She had a home and a family.” He could barely get the words out in between sniffles and stifled sobs, and he braced himself for the mockery he knew was coming.
Odds of Survival, by @marzarelo
ok but the real reason that scene where Rose bites Hux’s finger was cut out of TLJ is because that enticing little glimpse of Domhnall’s wrist was considered too racy for a general audience and Disney didn’t feel like fighting with the MPAA to keep from bumping it up to an R rating
Okay now I headcanon that 1. It’s like the Kobayashi Maru in Star Trek, except the reason it’s unbeatable is because if you best the Hux model in combat, he cries and begs you not to kill him and then shoots you with a smile when you’re like nooooo I’m sorry General pls don’t cry! And 2. When the “hackers” get a hold of the model everyone starts willingly surrendering because it triggers a simulation of Hux taking off his glove to shoot you personally with his blaster ♡
YES YESx10 I love this
Also if Hux programmed him, he’d know everyone’s names and ranks and his knowledge would update as time goes on and things change. Imagine Ren coming to train post-Crait to take out his frustrations at Hux in a way that he can’t in real life because kriff it all, he hates it but he needs the General alive and relatively functioning. The model greets him with “Supreme Leader, so good to see you. My program parameters indicate a shift in power, but do you really think you can best me?” and a saucy little wink. “I’ll wager you a title. I think ‘Grand Marshall’ sounds good, don’t you?”
Pretty sure Kylo would melt on the spot hearing his new title crooned at him like that rather than spat like poison. Hux is immediately suspicious when Ren starts smiling at him when they meet for briefings and nearly chokes on his tea the first time Ren says ‘Grand Marshall Hux’ like it’s something he’s been doing for weeks.
Spoiler Alert: He has.Ow my heart
STAGE 10 : Gen. A. Hux
FIGHT!Hux demanded to be the final boss in the new combat simulation program everybody in the Order is required to train with so of course the FO developers in charge of it obeyed, but ever since, mysterious hackers have been giving his character model increasingly scandalous outfits. Hux is of course unaware of this, he’s just congratulating himself on the massive success that is his new combat simulator.
Can You Bring Me The Gun of Rambo? 