Haha I like to think about Kaz compulsively getting tested for STDs like every month because he’s paranoid af about it, and one day medic sends for him with URGENT NEWS, “I need to see you IMMEDIATELY” so Kaz is freaking the fuck out and rushing over to medical and is a total nervous wreck, and medic turns to him and is like
“Kaz…your blood tests came back and I’m very concerned….you have……VERY HIGH CHOLESTEROL”
And Kaz just about passes out, he’s like JESUS CHRIST YOU SCARED THE CRAP OUT OF ME I THOUGHT IT WAS SERIOUS
And medic’s just like “……………….this is fucking serious, you’re a hamburger away from a fucking stroke, bro. Here is your new diet and exercise regimen, stick to it RELIGIOUSLY”
Cut to them at breakfast in the mess hall, medic and Kaz and BB are chilling around the taco buffet and Kaz is scooping extra bacon onto his breakfast tacos and medic just gives him this heart-stopping scowl, takes Kaz’s tray out of his hands and scoops all the bacon off and hands it back to him
Kaz glares at him. “I THINK YOU’RE THE FUCKING ANTICHRIST.”
And BB’s just laughing, eating his bacon like an animal and making horrendous moaning sounds while he’s doing it and Kaz pouts at them both
In my particular mkaz universe, he isn’t aware. Kaz and medic both know it would probably be in their best interest to keep things secret, especially with as passionate as their relationship ends up becoming and how Kaz tends to immediately go to medic for comfort and aftercare from BB’s abuse. 😰 I hinted at BB finding out much later in my bbkaz fic that I wrote a while back, but that doesn’t happen until just after the events of TPP. And he’s definitely jealous, but sort of impotent to do anything about it since he’s still supposed to be disappeared at that point so he kind of just has to scowl at them from a distance and suffer 😄😄
Medic may be the sweetest softest squishpuff to ever walk the earth but don’t dare try to tell me he isn’t kinky af
He’s a 42 year old gay man, this dude has no shame
“Kaz, I got you a present”
*bends Kaz over and proceeds to gently spread him open and insert a massive butt plug into him first thing in the morning*
“Keep that in for me today. Try to walk normal, Boss will notice and we can’t have him finding out” ~~~~
And all day Kaz is like 😏😏😏 with his dick rock hard but he refuses to go hide and rub one out because he wants to save it for medic at the end of the day
Trying to walk normally in front of all the soldiers and keep a straight face when BB is talking to him just turns him on even more because all he can think about is how thick the plug feels in his bottom and what medic’s going to do to him later
By lunchtime Kaz is trembling violently and his cock is so hard that he can barely walk, so he shows up at the medical platform on the verge of tears and begs medic to get him off because he just really needs to come or he’ll die
Medic just keeps a serene face, barely even looks at him as he closes the door to the exam room and swings the stirrups out from the table.
Kaz just stares at him blankly, like Are you fucking serious?
And medic just deadpans him. “Feet in the stirrups or you get nothing.”
And Kaz is just dying so he’s like Fuck it and tears his clothes off and sheepishly climbs up on the table, blushing furiously the whole time because it’s fucking humiliating but he absolutely loves how exposed it makes him feel and he trusts medic so deeply that it makes it feel more intimate
Medic snaps the latex gloves on for added effect because Kaz loves it, and then medic spends an agonising amount of time teasing and edging Kaz, softly kissing and sucking and biting up the insides of his thighs, running his gloved fingers over his skin, kissing and licking the underside of his balls and cock, and toying with the plug that’s still inside him and gets him to the point where he’s making these shrill sobbing sounds and crying and begging medic to let him come, please
So medic places a hand on Kaz’s tummy to hold him down while he starts toying with his plug, idly twisting it around inside him first, then gradually starts to gently fuck him with it while he sucks him off.
Kaz comes immediately, he’s sobbing and moaning and he knows pretty much the entire medical platform can hear him but he doesn’t care because it feels so good, and he’s writhing around so much that medic has to hold him down to keep him from falling on the floor
Kaz is much too spent and sleepy to even move afterwards, so medic delicately slides the plug out of him and eases his feet out of the stirrups, then maneuvers him into a more comfortable position and drapes a blanket over him. He snaps his gloves off, grabs a tissue and gently dries Kaz’s tears and lovingly dabs at his mouth where he’d been drooling a little, then kisses his forehead as he tells him how well he did and strokes his hair until he falls asleep.
Medic may be the sweetest softest squishpuff to ever walk the earth but don’t dare try to tell me he isn’t kinky af
He’s a 42 year old gay man, this dude has no shame
“Kaz, I got you a present”
*bends Kaz over and proceeds to gently spread him open and insert a massive butt plug into him first thing in the morning*
“Keep that in for me today. Try to walk normal, Boss will notice and we can’t have him finding out” ~~~~
And all day Kaz is like 😏😏😏 with his dick rock hard but he refuses to go hide and rub one out because he wants to save it for medic at the end of the day
Meticulously going back through cutscenes of GZ and TPP just to make sure I’ve got timelines down accurately for my fic and like jesus christ
It’s still dark out when their chopper goes down at the end of GZ, it maybe looks like it’s close to sunrise if you look closely – and allowing for an accurate passage of time, BB showed up at the base in Cuba at midnight, carried out the mission, and judging on average helicopter speeds and the amount of distance between the southernmost point of Cuba to Barranquilla, it’d maybe be like a four hour transit time. Give or take, since MB isn’t exactly on the coast, but some distance offshore. So it very well could be hours before sunrise when their chopper plunges into the ocean.
Skip to TPP, Kaz watches as BB falls into a coma as doctors try to resuscitate him. The time specifically states that it’s 1:31 pm. So. Basically. We’re to assume they were stranded in the middle of the ocean for several hours before rescuers arrived on the scene to transport them to the hospital in Colombia.
So imagine Kaz, in a chopper in the middle of the ocean flooding with water, fucking everyone is dead, BB is unresponsive, medic is still conscious but probably can’t speak or do shit because he’s all fucked up and his face is full of metal and bone, he’s probably struggling just to breathe and very likely doing his best to convey directions to Kaz on how to keep BB stable and Kaz is losing his shit because he’s the only one still lucid and able-bodied as he watches the two men he loves struggling to stay alive for HOURS IN A STRANDED CHOPPER IN THE MIDDLE OF THE FUCKING OCEAN waiting for help to arrive
From like just before sunrise to, maybe like noon or so.
Oh man IDK ANON THAT’S A TOUGH QUESTION. I haven’t seen any of the Diamond Dogs with that name so maybe Ocelot thought about that before he hypnotized himself and made a fail-safe ensuring none of the new recruits got that name?
(tbh I only chose that codename for medic because when I loaded up an old save of PW and scrolled through my medical team, the guy that looked closest to the medic in GZ and who looked like he might convincingly be plastic surgeried into BB was some dude named Heron so I was like LOL YEP THERE HE IS. So unglamourous, I know)
I think that would be something that Ocelot might have considered beforehand though, and perhaps Kaz also wanted to ‘retire the codename’ as it were to honour his medic because without spoiling too much of my own fic, Kaz was led to believe he was dead 😮 😮 😮
Sometimes I think about nauseatingly schmoopy headcanons like
Medic and Kaz sneak off to the beach sometimes while BB isn’t looking and hang out in a secluded area with a hammock strung up between two palm trees, the wind’s blowing off the ocean so the trees are swaying gently in the breeze and the motion of the hammock rocks them to sleep while they’re spooning and watching the sunset
But then my brain’s an asshole and something really stupid happens, like a coconut falls from the tree and hits Kaz square in the head
And he’s like WTF I THOUGHT THAT ONLY HAPPENED IN CARTOONS, GODDAMN OW and he’s pissed off so he kicks the coconut with his bare foot like an idiot
So instead of a romantic evening cuddling in a hammock and watching the sunset, medic gets to treat a concussion and a few broken toes for a grumpy commander
Can You Bring Me The Gun of Rambo? 