aw dude thank you!!  That means a lot because it was a really difficult fic to write.

tbh though I don’t know if I’ll write another fic so focused on him just because he’s so challenging to write. It was really more of a fluke than anything, like when I started writing it I didn’t set out with the intention of seeing events through his eyes, it was more of a self-indulgent thing like, “Gee, Ocelot’s been holding on to Miller’s sunglasses this entire time and only passes them off to Snake at the very last minute, and is presumed to have recovered them himself, what’s up with that?” and “Holy shit, uhhhh why aren’t we seeing more of Ocelot’s reaction/how he feels about Volgin’s body being brought back to MB, this is kind of a big fucking deal, let’s take a closer look at this.” And those two things are things that I have thought about nonstop for over a year and I’ve been wanting to write fic for it for ages because it’s just been eating at me this whole time lol.

So then as I started writing it I was like, “Oh heck, these are things that largely happen with Ocelot alone, outside the scope of the main characters, how the fuck would he feel/react to this because I HAVE NO IDEA” especially when he’s such an enigmatic character to begin with and his personality is almost impossible to pin down. Like you’re introduced to this shady torture fetishist creep in MGS1 and 2, and then in 3 you get to see him as this arrogant child but with something that roughly resembles a code of honor, who obviously uses cockiness as a defense mechanism, then skip to MGSV and he’s this…….humbled middle-aged man who spends almost the entirety of TPP looking wounded and concerned and speaking very softly and gently reeling in Kaz when he gets moody. And it’s such a jarring change from the Ocelot we’ve always known that I wanted to explore it a little and poke it with a stick, who the fuck is this man?? Like obviously a lot of his muted personality probably has to do with the fact that his mind is halfway checked out for the entirety of the game, but I really liked that weird dynamic between him and Kaz and how the game makes it very obvious how Kaz feels about Ocelot, but we’re shown so little, if nothing, about how Ocelot feels about Kaz. So I wanted to put it under a microscope for once and cover what might have been going on with him while we were all looking at Venom and Miller. 

lol I didn’t mean for this to get so rambly but THANKS FOR READING and what I’m saying is I won’t make any promises that I’ll write more Ocelot-centric stuff because it’s such a daunting challenge to write and I don’t think I’m cut out for it, but I won’t promise that I won’t, either. If something comes to me, I’ll definitely write it.